How to Write Your Own Obituary (2026): 7 Steps, a Fill-In Template, and 3 Short Examples

Writing your own obituary sounds grim until you start. Then it turns into something else: a short, clear look at your whole life, in your own words, with the facts right. This guide gives you a seven-step method, a fill-in-the-blank template, three short examples, and the details to leave out so your obituary can’t be used against your family.

Quick answer

To write your own obituary, gather the facts first (full name, birthplace, family, work, service, groups you belonged to), choose a tone (traditional, warm, or funny), and write a few short paragraphs: who you were, the shape of your life, the people you leave behind, and the service details. Leave blanks for the date of death and the service. Don’t include your full birth date, your mother’s maiden name, or your home address. Keep it with your will and funeral wishes, and tell someone where it is.

About this guide

I’m Arthur Cho, founder of Memoirji, a tool that interviews people about their lives and writes up what they say. More than 250 people have finished a memoir with it. I wrote this guide from published advice on obituary writing, consumer-protection guidance on obituary identity theft, and the end-of-life guides we’ve already published. The examples below are made up, with invented names, to show the format.

Why write your own obituary

• The facts come out right. Spellings, maiden names of relatives, the town you grew up in, the years you served, the company you worked for. Grieving families get these wrong under deadline all the time.
• It sounds like you. An obituary written by someone else in a hurry tends to read like a form. Yours can have your voice and your sense of humor.
• It’s one less job at the worst time. Whoever handles your affairs will have a funeral to arrange, calls to make, and papers to find, often within days. A finished draft is a real kindness.
• It shows you your life. Putting a whole life into a few paragraphs forces you to decide what mattered most. Many people find that clarifying, and some find it a good nudge to call someone or finish something.

What goes in an obituary

Part	What to include	Example
Opening	Full name (and nickname), age, hometown, date of death	”Ruth Ann ‘Ruthie’ Miller, [AGE], of Dayton, Ohio, died on [DATE].”
Early life	Where you were born and grew up, parents’ first names	”She grew up on a farm outside Xenia, the oldest of four.”
Education and work	Schools, career, military service	”She taught third grade at Lincoln Elementary for 31 years.”
Family	Spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, siblings	”She is survived by her husband of 52 years, Tom…”
What you loved	Faith, hobbies, causes, places, habits	”She never let a spring go by without planting tomatoes.”
Predeceased by	People who died before you, if you want them named	”She was preceded in death by her brother Jim.”
Service	Type of service, place, and how to learn details	”A memorial service will be held at [PLACE]. Details: [CONTACT].”
Requests	Donations in lieu of flowers, a small ask	”In lieu of flowers, plant something.”

How to write your own obituary in 7 steps

1. Gather the facts

Before you write a sentence, make a list: your full legal name and any nickname you go by, where you were born, your parents’ first names, the schools you went to, your jobs, military service, marriages, children and grandchildren (with spellings), siblings, and the groups that were part of your life (a church, a union, a quilting circle, a bowling league). This is the boring part and the most useful part. Everything else is easier once it’s on one page.

2. Choose a tone

There are three common tones, and all of them are fine:

• Traditional: factual, third person, the kind of obituary most newspapers print.
• Warm: still in order, but with one or two real details that make it sound like a person and not a record.
• Funny: affectionate jokes about your habits, your opinions, your family’s running gags. Keep the facts straight and the humor kind.

If you’re not sure, write it warm. It’s the easiest to get right.

3. Write the opening line

The opening line carries the most weight. A good one gives your name, age, hometown, and one detail that sounds like you. Some patterns that work:

• “[Name], [age], of [town], who [one true detail], died on [date].”
• “[Name] spent [age] years [doing the thing you’re known for]. He died on [date] in [town].”
• “If you ever got a birthday card from [Name], you know she never forgot one. She died on [date], at [age].“

4. Tell your life in a few lines

Pick three to five things, not twenty. Where you came from, what you did for work, who you loved, and what you’ll be remembered for. If you’re stuck, ask yourself what people say about you when you’re not in the room. That’s usually the thread.

5. Name the people

List your spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, and siblings. Some families use first names only for grandchildren, and fraud-prevention groups suggest exactly that, since full names of family members are useful to scammers. Decide whether to list people who died before you (“preceded in death by”); many people like to.

6. Say what you’d like

This is your chance to ask for something: donations to a cause instead of flowers, a favorite hymn at the service, a small act in your memory (“call your sister”). Keep it to a sentence or two.

7. Leave blanks, then store it where it will be found

Mark what you can’t know yet, such as [AGE], [DATE], [PLACE OF DEATH] and [SERVICE DETAILS], so they’re easy to spot. Save it with your funeral wishes, your will, and your living will, and tell the person who will handle your affairs where it is. Reread it every few years; a grandchild or two may need adding.

A fill-in-the-blank template

Three short examples

These are invented, to show the three tones. The names and details are made up.

Traditional

Harold James Becker, [AGE], of Toledo, Ohio, died on [DATE]. Born in Sandusky to Walter and Irene, he served in the U.S. Army and then worked for 34 years as a machinist. He married Carol Hoffman in 1969. He is survived by Carol; his children, Mark and Lisa; four grandchildren; and his sister, Joan. A funeral service will be held at [PLACE]. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to [CHARITY].

Warm

Ruth Ann “Ruthie” Miller, [AGE], of Dayton, Ohio, who never let a spring go by without planting tomatoes, died on [DATE]. She grew up the oldest of four on a farm outside Xenia and taught third grade for 31 years, long enough to teach the children of her first students. She and Tom were married for 52 years and argued happily about the thermostat for all of them. She leaves Tom, their daughters Amy and Beth, five grandchildren, and every neighbor she ever sent home with a bag of zucchini. In lieu of flowers, plant something.

Funny

Dolores “Dee” Kowalski has died at [AGE], which she would want you to know was older than her doctor predicted. She was born in Buffalo, raised on pierogi and opinions, and spent 40 years as a bookkeeper who could find a missing nickel in any ledger. She is survived by her husband Frank, who will now have to learn the washing machine; her sons Mike and Danny; and six grandchildren who know exactly which drawer the good candy was in. Services at [PLACE]. In lieu of flowers, call your mother.

What to leave out

Obituaries are public, and scammers read them. Consumer-protection groups, including AARP and the FDIC, recommend leaving out:

• Your full date of birth. Give your age, or just the year.
• Your mother’s maiden name. Banks still use it as a security question.
• Your home address. The town and state are enough.
• Your middle name, if it appears on your financial accounts.
• The exact time of the service, if it would announce that a house will be empty. Many families share times privately or through the funeral home.

And for taste: skip long lists of every cousin, old family feuds, and anything you’d be uncomfortable seeing printed next to your photo.

When the obituary feels too short

It will. That’s the honest catch with writing your own obituary: you’ll come up with far more than fits. The year the river flooded. How you met. The job you almost took. The thing your father said to you on the porch that you’ve never told anyone. None of that fits in five paragraphs, and it shouldn’t have to.

So write the obituary, and then keep the long version somewhere. It can be a notebook, a few typed pages, or a recording of you telling the stories out loud. If you’d rather talk than write, Memoirji asks you questions about your life one at a time, in your browser, on WhatsApp, or on LINE, and writes your spoken answers up as chapters. It’s free to start. The obituary says you were here. The long version says what it was like. It’s yours to keep for the record, whether or not anyone ever asks for it.

If you’re putting your affairs in order more broadly, our end-of-life planning checklist covers the documents, an ethical will is where your values and life lessons go, and Swedish death cleaning is a gentle way to sort a lifetime of belongings while you’re the one deciding.